Conviction

Splinter Cell: Conviction, the 23rd installment of the Splinter Cell series, is godly. Jack Bauer meets Rambo with Michael Ironside's vocals? Yes please. I plan on logging hours upon hours of protecting America from communism and avenging my (probably) deceased daughter.

Goodbye class. Goodbye homework. Hello killing socialists.


Fisher, Out.



A (patriotic) Gentleman.

Failure to Communicate

Are we so inept at communication that a punctuation mark is in need to denote sarcasm?

I know I have had times where it would be helpful, but buying it for $1.99, what a joke! Are we that bad at crafting sentences that we can’t convey the correct emotion? In a world of constant typing it seems we should be getting better at communication through typed messages.

Reading about the “SarcMark” made me think about how much of my serious communication happens through electronics, rather than face-to-face.

I have lost touch with personal communication.

However much I talk to people in person, know I am better at communicating through electronics. It’s sad, really. I feel that I should be more comfortable in face-to-face encounters, rather than experiencing my life through lines of text. Don’t get me wrong, I love interacting with my friends, but it seems so much easier to have a serious conversation in Facebook chat than in person.

No awkward pauses…

…I have time to collect my thoughts, word them correctly and send them at the perfect time. That is shameful. I think it should be the opposite, but with the constant presence of Internet communication and text messages, I guess it is logical.

A recent Kaiser Family Foundation study states, “Those ages 8 to 18 spend more than seven and a half hours a day with such devices” (smart phones, computers, and televisions). This doesn’t include texting or phone conversations.

This breaks down electronic usage.

Could these numbers really keep growing? The New York Times article said that researchers didn’t think it would continue to grow, but it did. So what is to stop it from growing more? It seems it will only go up with the constant release of new electronic devices.

The kids in this study aren’t college age, but I don’t think any of us think we spend less time than that using electronics. I know I use at least the quoted hours, maybe more.

Maybe everyone doesn’t struggle with having more serious conversations in person, but for me it’s harder in person. As far as I have seen, people struggle at conveying their thoughts in public.

Maybe we all just need to heed Woody Harrelson’s advice from Zombieland and “Nut up or shut up.”

Please excuse me while I go ask a girl out via text message.

-Evan

Friends

I don’t really know why I am so judgmental of people. It just comes so naturally. I see a guy wearing timberlands and a flat-brimmed hat, immediately I think, “douchebag.” I don’t usually feel bad about it. Sometimes, though, I actually think about what I am doing and I have no reason for it. He could be a nice guy, right? After having some of these thoughts, I tried not to be so judgmental.

It wasn’t possible. I realized I make these judgments, however hasty they may be, for a reason.

The reason? Disappointment.

People are just disappointing. Think about it. How many people let you down? They can seem incredible, interesting and funny in the beginning, but after a while their flaws become so apparent. This disappointment is probably why I don’t even bother with people that strike me as shallow. If people I actually want to spend time with turn out to be nothing more than a waste of time, why the hell would I engage people that seem to have already made poor life decisions?

This sounds like a confession of lonely man. It isn’t. I have friends and family I would do anything for. People I know I can share my life with. I am thankful for these people, but just disappointed with the rest of humanity. They have done nothing for me, except of course reinforce my feelings of despondency.

There is a point to these ramblings.

Keep your friends close. Don’t drop the ones you know are there for you for someone that will probably just end up a failed attempt at friendship. No one needs 50 friends. Just keep your closest friends with you through everything.

Just know who really cares about you and don’t let them leave.

Nothing better is waiting.

-Evan

Hemmingway

I have had a lot on my mind recently, but I am glad I can still find comedy in the little things.

While unwillingly reading Hemmingway's short stories I came across these couple lines. It gave me a good laugh.

"She's blowing," Nick said.
"She'll blow like that for three days," George said.

I felt a little childish finding humor in this, but The Office has made me turn everything into a sexual joke.

-Evan, The Scholar

2010 Hurts, Recovering From 2009: Relapse

I will not bite my nails. I will limit my recreational drinking to three days a week. I will not throw up in crowded family restaurants.

Too late.

I didn’t ever find New Year’s Resolutions to be beneficial. Partly because I have never adhered to them. But also because I usually concocted them on New Year’s Eve, just hours before drinking heavily in to the wee hours of the new year.

This New Year’s Eve I didn’t bother with resolutions. I didn’t even bother avoid getting blackout drunk. One half bottle of rum, one half bottle of champagne, two starry nights and a good time later I am one half conscious in a Bob Evans with two of my roommates while a little person asks us if we’d prefer a booth or a table.

On our way to the table, I considered striking a pudgy adolescent for bumping in to me but decided against making a scene.

Our server, a wild child and worthy contestant for the Biggest Loser took my order: one water, one coffee and the farmer’s choice. My thick-framed sunglasses couldn’t mask surliness and the server quipped about my agony. “Still a little out of it?” I let my head cock to one side and moaned in agreement.

One look at my coffee sent me to the men’s room. I shoved my way through the crowd of people waiting for a table of their own; most of who smelled like dying.

I went in to the first stall, cough, gag, release.

After rinsing my mouth out I returned to the table a new man with a new appetite. A man ready for the day. A man mistaken. I took just one bite of the home fries and rushed back to the men’s room.

I stumbled into the stall I had previously marked as my own with last night’s mistakes and released a horrific stream of liquor and bile into the bowl. It was then and there; peering into the murky waters of regret that I realized it was January 1, 2010.

It was then that I decided that a day is a day just as a year is a year and celebrating the New Year is not about drinking yourself in to oblivion or making empty promises to yourself. It’s being thankful for one more set of tomorrows and the gift of being able to regret the night before.

Life is short and the days are long so that we can sip our drinks and take it all in one year at a time.

Eli Samuel Johnson, a gentleman

Winning

No matter what the competition, no one wants to lose. If someone tells you otherwise it's just because they have lost so many times they are complacent with losing. Being a frequent victor I have never gotten used to the idea of losing.

I think that is why when I play my comrade, Eli, in FIFA or Madden (both ’10 of course) I cannot stand to lose. I know it's childish but I should never lose to an inferior (love ya). A good day would consist of beating Eli so bad he quits (I think it was 10-0 today in FIFA) but of course once the beating is so bad the defeated begins “not trying”. A card I have pulled many times but everyone knows it is utter bullshit. If you don’t try your pride isn’t hurt as bad. This is in no way saying I beat Eli in everything, we are honestly pretty closely matched in most we do (He beat me the game before 4-2).

We have a good time but occasionally, when things don’t go your way, one of us loses a temper and ruins the friendship for about an hour. The video games are meant to be fun, but lets be honest, losing is never fun. Even though the victories come often for both of us, that one loss can ruin a day. Some days I feel bad beating him into the ground, but then I remember, he’ll get over it.

We both feel a little ashamed when we throw a temper tantrum, but it wouldn’t be the same without it. We need to let it out. Scream, whine, complain when something didn’t go our way and it was definitely not our fault. So, whether or not EA sports games are flawed, only when you lose, the bottom line is, losing sucks. It’s not just about having fun, it’s about winning, no matter the cost.

-The Scholar

Hey Everybody!

Eli and I, being journalism majors, decided we should start writing more. We are going to start posting our thoughts, fights, pictures, and most intimate moments with you. Eli thinks he is more of a gentleman than me, so that's him. I am, of course, the scholar.

-Evan